A Windee Graduation Speech: For Our Covid Era

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The following is one of a series of speeches published here every graduation season

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Thank you for that imputed, extended ovation I just gave to myself through the magic of computers with recorded applause.

Much unlike prior years, my sage words will be short and to the point given the current state of our Covid affairs and the fact that I can’t speak well wearing a mask. And by the way, my wife is right: my breath stinks.

 

im windee gives covid grad speech

Wait until I.M. Windee’s wife discovers where the other half of her bra went…along with the family can of Lysol

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So, as promised, I offer you no grand platitudes nor advice on taking over the world, let alone making it a better place.

My advice is more practical and for the moment. To wit:

 

FLEE!!!!

RUN!!!!

EVACUATE!!!

TAKE COVER!!!

SHELTER IN!!!

 

Thank you.

I must now mouthwash with Lysol and continue my ongoing, self-prescribed Covid vaccinations of cheap beer.

Godspeed to you all and I’ll see you on the other side.

-I.M. Windee


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