Archive for May, 2022

A Windee Graduation Speech: For Our Covid Era

Tuesday, May 31st, 2022

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The following is one of a series of speeches published here every graduation season

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Thank you for that imputed, extended ovation I just gave to myself through the magic of computers with recorded applause.

Much unlike prior years, my sage words will be short and to the point given the current state of our Covid affairs and the fact that I can’t speak well wearing a mask. And by the way, my wife is right: my breath stinks.

 

im windee gives covid grad speech

Wait until I.M. Windee’s wife discovers where the other half of her bra went…along with the family can of Lysol

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So, as promised, I offer you no grand platitudes nor advice on taking over the world, let alone making it a better place.

My advice is more practical and for the moment. To wit:

 

FLEE!!!!

RUN!!!!

EVACUATE!!!

TAKE COVER!!!

SHELTER IN!!!

 

Thank you.

I must now mouthwash with Lysol and continue my ongoing, self-prescribed Covid vaccinations of cheap beer.

Godspeed to you all and I’ll see you on the other side.

-I.M. Windee

Memorial Day: President Lincoln Weighs In

Saturday, May 28th, 2022

The following, published here every Memorial Day weekend and Veteran’s Day, is a letter from President Lincoln sent to a mother whose sons died in the Civil War for the Union cause

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Abraham Lincoln wearing a surgical mask public domain remix | Free ...

President Lincoln realized that sacrifice must be made to preserve the republic……….and that masks should be worn during pandemics

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Executive Mansion,
Washington, Nov. 21, 1864.

Dear Madam,

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

A. Lincoln