Archive for the ‘Ruminations’ Category

The Democrats’ Impeachment Cartoon….

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019

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…with Bugs McConnell and Elmer J. Nadler

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The House Judiciary Committee chaired by Democrat Rep. Jerry Nadler opens impeachment hearings tomorrow and just as the House Intelligence Committee hearings did, I will be reminded of Bugs Bunny turning Elmer J. Fudd’s gun against him.
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Watch for Bugs McConnell to turn the Democrats’ guns on them during the Senate impeachment trial

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It could be very entertaining to watch the impeachment trial in the hands of Senate leader Mitch McConnell, more aptly Bugs McConnell.
 
Don’t think he will not be paying attention to the Iowa and New Hampshire campaign calendars.
 
No doubt when Sens. Warren or Sanders have a big campaign event in either state, there will be an impeachment procedural vote that they must attend, if not the actual trial itself.
 
I suspect Mr. McConnell will have inconveniently timed adjournments of the trial to sort through matters, only to be resolved as soon as the good senators set foot in the Hawkeye or Granite states. So unless Sens. Warren or Sanders want nothing but to rack up frequent flier mileage, I recommend they not even waste their time flying to either state for as soon as their planes touch down, they will have to taxi for take-off to head back to D.C.
 
And while as a Republican or non-Liberal American it is foolish to wish an impeachment since no one knows where it will go, as it is a fait accompli, I will sit back and enjoy the anguish Sens. Warren or Sanders will go through when having to choose between the campaign trail or their Senate duties, to the extent they will even have a choice.
 
And all this for what will be a non-removal despite the likes of the Democrats and Sen. Mitt McCain.
 
I recommend to Mr. McConnell that he tell the good senators to forward all complaints to House Committee Chairmen Schiff and Nadler as they’ll have made it all possible.

-I.M. Windee

Turkeygate

Monday, December 2nd, 2019

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A Presidential pardon leads to yet another Trump scandal

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Last week President Trump joked about this year’s White House turkeys, Bread & Butter, being subpoenaed by Adam Schiff’s Intelligence Committee after the president pardoned them in an annual White House tradition.

Yet as much as the president wants to change the subject, some serious questions were raised.

To wit, was there a quid pro quo between the president and the turkeys? Perhaps the turkeys gave the names of other turkeys that are tastier in exchange for their commutation.

President Trump tried to joke away yet another scandal that while the majority of American people may not spot, the Democrats certainly will

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And was any of the grain that the turkeys ate imported from Russia, which would show yet another interference into American politics by Vladimir Putin?

Maybe the president wanted to gain some good publicity as he goes into his re-election campaign. Did the turkeys, through their pardons, provide value to his campaign that exceeded federal campaign limits?

And what was the gender of the turkeys? We know Trump has a soft spot for females? Did that affect his decision?

Also, little is spoken of the farm the turkeys came from. Did the president have a financial interest, direct or indirect, in the farm? A foreign farm could bring up issues with the emoluments clause of the constitution.

Most importantly, has Mr. Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, had a turkey sandwich he didn’t like within the past year? Such could show an undue influence by Giuliani on the administration’s policies.

As Chairman Schiff has quoted Ben Franklin, we “have a republic if [we] can keep it,” we should never forget that the republic cannot be preserved if  pardons of turkeys are made by self-interested presidents, whether Republican or Democrat.

Depending upon how this scandal unfolds, Mr. Trump may be able to show that Bread & Butter are not the only turkeys in Washington, D.C.

-I.M. Windee

Corporate Applause……

Tuesday, November 5th, 2019

 

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…from a corporatized I.M. Windee

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The following is an internal communiqué to one of Windee’s colleagues:

Spot on, Jones!!!

Your idea is a game changer that displays thought leadership and is a pro-active, value add-on to the commonly misunderstood paradigm of the moving-parts of our business and the resulting synergy will allow scalable best practices that will avoid pain points. Such will lead to managed, dynamic, organic growth for The Daily Yap.

You are clearly no Ideate.

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 Despite his irreverent and satirical prose, I.M. Windee is a corporate….nay…..an “office guy” as his business lexicon displays

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At the End of the Day, this will allow us to drill down into our mind maps and take ownership of our productivity pipelines (I’m talking in a corporate sense so PUT THE HASHTAG DOWN!!!) which will enable us to streamline our mission-critical deliverables process, to an aggregated, right-sized scale.

The bottom line: this will double our readership and we owe it all to you for moving us from 2 to 4 consumers.

Going forward, I will reach out to you, albeit offline and virtually but not through face-time, to make it happen.

I will also ask you to translate to me what the heck I just said.

I.M.W.

enclosures: not needed.

IMW/imw

The Virtue of Not Keeping Campaign Promises

Thursday, October 17th, 2019

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The crisis resulting from the U.S. military pullout from northern Syria was not worth keeping the campaign promise to end American involvement abroad

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This page has been silent to date about the surreal presidency of Donald Trump.

For every step backwards there are one-and-a-half steps forward made by this chaotic president. So to get caught up in the moment is futile and ultimately exhausting.

But Mr. Trump’s pullout of 1,000 troops from northern Syria was an epoch blunder with huge downside and no benefit.

Image result for trump mocking challenged kid on campaign trail

It’s one thing to be spazztic on the campaign trail but completely another when occupying the Oval Office

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For starters, he has abandoned the Kurds who were an ally against the barbaric Islamic State. They are now subject to the un-tender mercies of Turkey that deems the Kurds a bigger threat than Islamic State. Unless the invasion by Turkey of northern Syria ends soon, this will turn into a bloodbath tantamount to a mini-genocide, the blood of which will be on Mr. Trump’s hands.

Thereafter, the rest of the world, Russian president Vladimir Putin in particular, senses a chaos and weakness in this president that can be exploited and Mr. Putin never wastes such opportunities. Russia will fill the vacuum caused by the U.S. pullout.

China, too, will also feel more ambitious in its dealings with and foothold in the African continent as it can be easily assumed that Mr. Trump would never bother to waste U.S. resources on any inappropriate Chinese presence in Africa, even if they planted 10 army divisions right in the middle of the continent.

And now Islamic State is given the chance to re-group and spread a new reign of terror that the U.S. will have to fight again. Mr. Trump doesn’t realize it’s far better to keep boots on the ground than leave a battlefield and re-enter it. In that, he will have cost U.S. lives though he’ll never admit to it.

Trump defended the withdrawal, saying “endless wars must end.”

That’s nice jingoism but the truth is asymmetrical wars like that of terror don’t have delineated beginnings and ends. Some have never stopped, others end and pop up with new players. But the result is the same: wanton slaughter that must be fought and defeated. Islamic State came only after Al-Qaeda was rolled back so it is a virtually new moniker but others will follow under different names yet same modus operandi.

One of Mr. Trump’s calling cards has been that he’s different from the usual politician and he used that along with a promise to shake up the status quo (“drain the swamp”) to get into office. Hence his belief that he’s merely fulfilling a promise that he made on the campaign trail, unlike politicians when they get into office.

But there is a huge difference in perspective from the campaign trail and the Oval Office. An aspiring presidential candidate does not have the information that a president does which would indicate the consequences of their proposed actions. And taking any position on the campaign trail has no effect unlike taking such action as president where lives are on the line, in this case both American when we re-enter northern Syria and Kurdish right now.

And with this move Mr.Trump has done what was thought impossible: create broad congressional bi-partisanship. In this case, against the withdrawal.

Yesterday the House voted on a resolution opposing President Trump’s withdrawal from northern Syria and noting the mayhem that has resulted. The House voted 354 to 60 for the resolution. Lopsided votes like that don’t come around often in this heated partisan era.

While Democrats voted 225-0, which was no surprise, Republicans also voted in favor of the rebuke, 129-60, and they included Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, whip Steve Scalise and Conference Chair Liz Cheney. National security experts Mac Thornberry, former Chairman of the Armed Services Committee; top Foreign Affairs Republican Michael McCaul ; and rising star and Marine veteran Michael Gallagher also opposed the President. The magnitude of the vote suggests comparable majorities when the resolution hits the Senate floor.

There are no good political nor military options for the president and as this is written, Secretary of State Pompeo and Vice-President Pence have been dispatched to Turkey to try to convince it to end its invasion. Good luck.

Up until now, Republicans (and this page) have generally stayed allied to this president as the potential alternatives are not alternatives.

But this Syrian blunder leads even the most staunch Trump supporter to ask whether Mr. Trump is up to the task of Commander-in-Chief.

-I.M. Windee

 

A Windee Graduation Speech: Absolute Success Corrupts Absolutely

Monday, June 3rd, 2019

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The following is one of a series published here every graduation season

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“Thank you for that extended ovation. It affirms my decision to request that audience applause signs be installed and an activation button placed under my foot.

Today you are here with the most opportunity laid before the feet of any graduating class. Disregard what is said about American Decline; you live in what is known to be the most technologically advanced society known to humanity. Yes, we have shortcomings to be addressed but how we communicate, our life expectancy and medical care, our housing, transportation, sources of knowledge, etc. overall exceed anything in the past.

You are set up for great success and many of you will achieve such.

Image result for otto von bismarckBud Fox 2

 A 19th-century German chancellor foresaw 20th-century corrupted people

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But if you do, I ask that you never lose your moorings. Never become, as my grandmother used to say, too big for your britches. In short, don’t let success go to your head to make you discard, assuming you now have them, the basic human values that we should always have.

If you look around your classmates, you will see several that will become wildly successful in the conventional, if not true, sense. There are likely several captains of industry amongst you.

Amongst them are some of the finest, down-to-earth people you may ever know. Unfortunately, that could well change when they achieve success.

I am familiar with a person who was worthy of beatification in his 20s. Through hard work and, of course, luck, he is now extremely successful in the corporate world. Unfortunately, such has skewed his judgment and now the status of the people he associates with, as well as the country clubs they belong to and their tax brackets, are the dispositive factor in whether they are worthy to be in his orbit.

The 19th-century German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck once observed that absolute power corrupts absolutely. So too does absolute success corrupt the mores of even the best of people. I ask you not to fall into such trap.

I close with what Portfolia U’s administration has required me to remind you of: that your donations to your alma mater not only help humanity but are tax-deductible.

I must now take a large dose of Dramamine.

Godspeed to you.

-I.M. Windee

A Windee Graduation Speech: Avoiding The Road Not Worth Taking

Tuesday, May 28th, 2019

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The following is one of a series published here every graduation season

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“Thank you for that roaring ovation. Throwing the rose peddles was touching and even more so because they were the kind I requested.

While most speeches speak to soaring platitiudes and grandiose goals, I offer far more practical, albeit strategic, advice.

In a speech I recently gave, I advised graduates that their success would be directly tied to the people they surround themselves with.

This means it’s important not to surround yourself with people who will not make you successful as well as avoiding bad deals.

There are people out there who can only lower your batting average and choices which while giving instant gratification will only be bad for you in the long run. Such must be avoided.

Image result for fork in the road

Choices in life may not be so obvious nor easy to make

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To be with people who will benefit you, you can’t be with those who will not.

And such choices will not always be easy nor obvious. One of the harder things to do in life is to accept one facet of the quixotic refrigerator magnet wisdom:  grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Accepting that certain people will not be a part of your winning team can be difficult, but must be done.

In 1986, President Reagan, in Reykjavik, Iceland, walked away from what would have been a short-term political victory in a nuclear arms deal with the Soviet Union because he knew that the deal was bad for the country. It took fortitude but he had it. A year later he got the deal he wanted.

You too will be tested throughout your personal and professional lives with bad options disguised as good ones. I urge you to walk away from such.

Finally, I close with wisdom that your administration here at Moneteria University required that I impart today in order to speak before you: be generous alumni and give often to your alma mater.

I will go home now and take a hot bath for 2 hours.

Godspeed to you all.

-I.M. Windee

 

A Windee Graduation Speech: Your Team For Success

Thursday, May 23rd, 2019

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The following is one of a series published here every graduation season

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“Thank you for that roaring ovation. You really know how to appreciate a great commencement speaker.

Before I wax philosophical, I ask the graduating class to do what I asked my law school graduating class to do when I gave the speech as class president: please rise and give a standing ovation to the people that made it possible for you to be here today. Namely, your family, friends, spouses, loved ones, mentors, teachers and any other supporting cast who got you into this end-zone.Image result for endzone celebration steelers

To get into the end-zone of life, you’ll need a good team around you

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Because whether you realize it or not, you will not achieve success, however each of you define it, without the help of others.

To get here today, you had parents who sired you. And I heard pregnancy is no picnic so your mothers deserve honorable mention, to say the least. Thereafter, once you landed on this planet, you were raised. From diapers to adulthood, there was a lot done and much sacrifice by those who raised you. Sleepless nights at your birth and sleepless nights in your teenage years, sandwiching exasperation.

But here you are.

Yet your team of supporters will expand as you enter the world and pursue your callings. If you think you will succeed alone, think again.

Astronaut Neil Armstrong. who is the first-known human-being to set foot on the moon, said about that 1969 mission, and I quote, I was certainly aware that this was a culmination of the work of 300,000 or 400,000 people over a decade.” Mr. Armstrong recognized that when he set foot on the lunar dust, it was not the first seconds of an effort by one person but the culmination of many people’s efforts over a long period of time. So, too, will your lunar landings be the product of a team effort and not just solely your talent and energy. This reality cannot be lost especially in this age as individualism has increased to perhaps an all-time human high. There are even world leaders who claim that isolationism for their countries is the best path. Nothing could be more wrong. The human endeavor is a team sport. Individualism is an important aspect of advancing it but in the end, for us to win, it must be done as a team. So as you embark on your mission called life, remember to not only pick a good team, but also recognize and appreciate them.

That is all I have to say today but when I presented this speech to the administration they said it was a bit short and requested that I add to it and text was even provided.

With that said, I ask you to remember how much you have benefited from your education here at Currencia U. and that you give back and financially support your alma mater.

I should’ve written a longer speech.

Godspeed to you.”
 -I.M. Windee

A Message From Currencia U.’s President….

Saturday, December 29th, 2018

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…and a donor worthy of a urinal

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Dear Alumnus-

I write to you with both an update and a challenge.

In regards to the update, it has been a good year for the return on our endowment which has exceeded the Dow Jones average by 3.68%. Additionally, alumni generosity has been robust. Still, there is much to be done.

As many of you might have heard, Charles Herbert (“Chuck”) Hedgecroft XVII embraces this university’s vision for greatness and donated 15 million dollars to us for our Make the World Great fundraising campaign. Because such gift helped us to exceed our 75 million dollar goal sooner than expected, we have increased it to 100 million dollars to allow others to follow the inspirational lead of Chuck. We have re-named the Mortimer Bancroft (“Bo”) Buckingham XIV School of Business to the Charles Herbert Hedgecroft XVII Center for Business Studies and Human Advancement (Mr. Buckingham, who had donated 10 million dollars prior, declined to get into a bidding war given mounting legal bills for his insider trading indictment). As part of Mr. Hedgecroft’s donation terms, a lottery will be held to select 10 people from those currently receiving scholarships who must name their first-born “Hedgecroft.” Additionally, each individual must serve as a human lawn jockey at his estate for 2 of Mr. Hedgecroft’s social gatherings (I will be serving 3).

Other donors who received recognition are as follows:

  • Salvatore Giancome had all of the dumpsters on the undergraduate campus named in his honor for a $5mm donation and will attend a ceremony marking such once he is on parole.
  • George Mellencup Winthrop XXVII donated $3mm and will have a row of urinals in the Henderson Hall male lavatory named after him. He remarked that he’s not sure he’s worthy of such but embraces this honor nonetheless.
  • Roger and Mitzi Howell will have the stalls in the Ezekial Vance Capote Trans-gender Bath and Reflection Room named after them for their $2mm gift.
  • James Arthur and Catherine Elizabeth McDowell gave $1mm and will have all of the feminine napkin dispensers in both male and female restrooms on campus emblazoned with their names. Catherine said they now feel they have made a difference with this honor.
  • A number of devoted alumni, too numerous and anemic in donation to mention, have shown their loyalty and will be having desks, staplers and hole-punchers named after them (for 1 year and then such will be up for bid again).

There are plenty of structures left on the campus for your name to be on so I ask that you consider such. Note also that there is an upgrade program so if you can only start out at the soap dispenser or trash can level, there are ways to enhance your status.

The George Mellencup Winthrop XXVII Honorary Urinals display a commitment to Currencia U. that all alumni should aspire to and represents the very best of his and the university’s values 

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The “Save Africa from Famine” fundraiser was a huge success that brought in $2.5mm which allowed us to airdrop 3 pallets of Cup-O-Noodles and a case of wet-wipes into the most needy part of Africa. The remainder of the funds went to administrative costs and a rainy-day fund for urgent needs that may arise.

Now to the future.

The Phillip Winthrop Jones building on the Charles Herbert Hedgecroft XVII Center for Business Studies and Human Advancement has now been officially declared obsolete by the Board of Trustees. Built 7 years ago at a cost of $72mm, it was state-of-the-art. But as the demands of education evolve, existing structures like it become outdated and I almost feel ashamed to see our students have to trudge into it each day, as I’m sure you would too. To replace it, we will require a fund drive (named “Great Hearts, Deep Pockets“). It will kick off with a donor’s conference in which anyone who wishes to donate at least $5,000 is invited (the fee to attend has yet to be determined, cash bar).

And as you may know, the proliferation of all of our financial needs has created the necessity for an infrastructure to administer these drives and funds received. I thank the board for its foresightedness in approving a fund drive that will allow us to have a world-class fundraising staff. I am always amazed at, and grateful for, the vision that our board displays when it comes to dealing with financial challenges. I know that the donors who created the administrative burden through their contributions will step up and help us deal with it.

To that end, the Board hired a consulting firm to study and advise how we can further encourage our alumni to show their loyalty and spirit. This firm came up with 2 cutting-edge ideas that we will implement immediately. First, we have decided to offer to our generous donors the option of buying enhanced-fonts for their names when we publish the donor lists in our alumni magazines. For a further showing of loyalty through gifting, their names can be in bold with a pronounced background color. Secondly, we have decided to issue a “non-donors” list. The consultants say this will encourage those who are unsure about whether to support advancing the cause of humanity by contributing to Currencia to do so. The Board wholeheartedly agrees.

Finally, it has come to my attention that society focuses far too much on materialism and the accumulation of money. This must change. Currencia University, through a soon to-be-announced fundraiser, will hold a study and symposium on how our culture can move away from its obsession with acquiring wealth and instead allow us to devote ourselves to advancing the causes that Currencia University does, such as eradicating overseas poverty, ending world famine, eliminating armed conflicts, and addressing global warming, to name just a few. Such an agenda requires a strong financial commitment from you, as I’m sure you’re aware.

St. Igantius said “Act as if everything depended on you.” I and the board read such to mean give profusely to Currencia University. I’m sure you share our interpretation and will donate to help us make the world, and the universe, a better place.

Always in God’s name,

The Very Reverend Phineas Barnum, S.J., CFO, MBA

President

(with clarity provided by I.M. Windee)

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While this should be published every time I.M. Windee thinks he has received far too many alma mater solicitations, such would occur every week. So it is posted at year-end when these fine institutions appeal to the personal tax-reduction benevolence of donors.

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George Herbert Walker Un-Dukakis

Saturday, December 1st, 2018

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World War II Hero, Successful Businessman, Public Servant, President, Non-Visionary

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George Herbert Walker Bush, the 41st U.S. President, has died.

To say he lived a rich life would be a great understatement.

He served in World War II as the youngest Naval pilot, went on to prosper in the oil industry, was a congressman, saw the Republican party through the travails of Watergate, was President Ford’s ambassador to China and then his CIA Director.

Image result for george h w bush pilot jacket

 

This country can only hope for more fathers, soldiers and public servants like George H.W. Bush; but not Presidents like him

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He ran for President in 1980 only to lose to Ronald Reagan in the primaries but the Gipper saw his value as a wingman and made him his running mate which thrust him into the Vice-Presidency for 8 years. He then ran on his own and thanks in large part to Mr. Reagan’s coattails, he won. He went on to lose re-election 4 years later to one of history’s greatest politicians, Bill Clinton.

While the accolades are flooding in from both sides of the aisle (Democrats love Republicans who lose to them [see: John McCain]), few people remember his shortcomings.

Specifically, when he ran on his own in 1988, he was identified more for what he was not, Michael Dukakis, than what he stood for.

And when he called for a “kinder gentler nation,” it was unmistakable that he disagreed with Reagan’s economic and social policies. He also derided “the vision thing” that Reagan clearly had.

As stated above, in 1992, he got his chance to differentiate from Reagan and did: he sealed his fate as a one-term President in large part because of increasing taxes with a Democrat congress and breaking his pledge of “No new taxes!”

This page will always remember his eulogy at Mr. Reagan’s funeral when he emotionally said that the 40th President taught him everything he knows abut politics. An initial read would interpret such  as meaning he used Reagan’s lessons but for those who knew, he basically meant that he didn’t believe in the Gipper’s policies but found out the hard way that Mr. Reagan was right.

A great fantasy of this page would have had Mr. Bush realizing that he was tapped out by 1992, which the debates showed when he was checking his watch, and not running again. Bob Dole would’ve come in as the deficit hawk to take advantage of the peace dividend and after that Jack Kemp could have been the President who addressed social policies and forever taken such away from the Democrats. But ego would not allow Mr. Bush to abdicate.

We hope this country has many more soldiers and public servants like our 41st President, but we’ll be fine if no more Presidents like him.

-I.M. Windee

A Windee Graduation Speech: Avoiding The Road Not Worth Taking

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

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The following is one of a series published here every graduation season

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“Thank you for that roaring ovation. Throwing the rose peddles was touching and even more so because they were the kind I requested.

While most speeches speak to soaring platitiudes and grandiose goals, I offer far more practical, albeit strategic, advice.

In a speech I recently gave, I advised graduates that their success would be directly tied to the people they surround themselves with.

This means it’s important not to surround yourself with people who will not make you successful as well as avoiding bad deals.

There are people out there who can only lower your batting average and choices which while giving instant gratification will only be bad for you in the long run. Such must be avoided.

Image result for the road not taken

Choices in life may not be so obvious nor easy to make

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To be with people who will benefit you, you can’t be with those who will not.

And such choices will not always be easy nor obvious. One of the harder things to do in life is to accept one facet of the quixotic refrigerator magnet wisdom:  grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Accepting that certain people will not be a part of your winning team can be difficult, but must be done.

In 1986, President Reagan, in Reykjavik, Iceland, walked away from what would have been a short-term political victory in a nuclear arms deal with the Soviet Union because he knew that the deal was bad for the country. It took fortitude but he had it. A year later he got the deal he wanted.

You too will be tested throughout your personal and professional lives with bad options disguised as good ones. I urge you to walk away from such.

Finally, I close with wisdom that your administration here at Moneteria University required that I impart today in order to speak before you: be generous alumni and give often to your alma mater.

I will go home now and take a hot bath for 2 hours.

Godspeed to you all.

-I.M. Windee