On Parenting: Corporal Punishment
*********************************************************************
Discovering the virtues of a good, old-fashioned spanking
*********************************************************************
As a child of the 1980′s, I grew up on the modern beliefs, right or wrong, of how to raise kids. To not have a car-seat for my kids has been ingrained as tantamount to child abuse, despite the fact that when I was a pre-teen in the 1970s my contemporaries and I were practically part of the roof-rack or a second hood ornament.
Thus, my tendency was to avoid corporal punishment (formerly known as “spankings”) at most costs, even though I somehow knew, not too deep down, that the current state of human evolution calls for deterrence via physical punishment, for both adult and child alike.
So when faced with a disobeying child, I would do as the post-1950s expert advise:
- I gave my kids choices: But they pocketed the good options and disregarded the bad ones and thus, chose to continue the un-televised hostage crisis.
- I gave them a “timeout”: But it only allowed them to re-group and re-arm for a more potent counter-attack.
- I got someone else involved: I called the the American Association of Parent-Child Arbitration and had an arbitrator hear our case. Within 10 minutes the arbitrator determined that my wife and I were lousy parents and advised our children of some good lawyers who could sue us and get them an early retirement.
- I warned them of consequences: I told them that if they did not do their homework, they ran a high risk of not doing well in grade school which would hurt their chances of getting into a good high school and college and thus hurt their earning potential someday. Their eyes seemed glazed over as I was explaining this at which point they reverted to their bad behavior.
- I picked my battles with them: But before I could fight the first battle, I was completely cornered and had little or no room to fight from.
- I set limits: But they picked up the limits bar and moved it.
- I stated my request in the positive: But they positively ignored me.
Finally, I applied my hand to their posteriors in an un-tender manner. Immediately, I had the complete focus of their minds and law and order was fully restored.
Despite being passe and politically incorrect, perhaps there is a beneficial place for corporal punishment in our lives.
-I.M. Windee
