Christmas Season Arrives
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Things change when the Yuletide season arrives
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I.M. Windees knows it’s Christmas season when:
- The only thing he will listen to on the radio, whether because of Catholic guilt, nostalgia or whatever, are Christmas songs.
- Going to the store requires reconnaissance of which door the charities are rattling their cans and should be avoided.
- There is self-doubt as he’s never experienced a December to Remember by acquiring a Lexus.
- His household spending will compete with that of the federal government’s.
- The only thing he will watch on the computer is Wham’s Last Christmas video.
- Watching clips on tv of Black Friday shoppers doing idiotic things is the highlight of the day, lasting all day.
- There is further self-doubt as he never could polish off a 3rd full plate of food at Christmas dinner like his grandfather could. How could he let his ancestors down?
For advertisers, Christmas seasons means thoughts of….next summer
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- Valentine’s Day cards, candy and flowers are advertised.
- The road is full of cars with “Keep Christ in Christmas” bumper stickers and Christmas wreaths affixed to the front of their hoods many whose drivers will run you off the road and give you the finger in the process.
- As with every other time of the year, educational and religious institutions remind us of how we should be especially grateful and shovel money to them. Shouldn’t a sense of gratitude apply to them?
- Turkey is substituted for pizza as a basic food staple.
- The ability to act happy around unpalatable people is pushed to its limits.
- The ability to show restraint at the dinner table is pushed beyond its limits.
-I.M. Windee
