FaceBook: People’s 15 Megabytes of Fame
By: I.M. Windee
For my premiere article, I pondered, somewhat, as what to write about. But this quickly became a no-brainer: FaceBook (or what I more accurately call “BabbleBook” [hereinafter “BB”]).
The internet is what fire and the wheel were to humans at the time of their discovery. And the predominant presence on the internet is BB. Created by an individual who is best described as socially-awkward (as am I but without his brilliance), BB allows anyone and everyone to weigh in on virtually all topics of decency, if not intelligence, no matter how trite, superfluous or downright unimportant the material is.
I’ve read opinions on what BB represents, and is, for those who partake. As someone who is not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any kind of professional who can diagnose the human psyche, I will mercifully refrain from my own detailed analysis. The farthest I will go is say that BB provides a variation of Andy Warhol’s basic human desire: 15 megabytes of fame.
Because I am not going to psycho-analyze BB participants and because people cannot quite often see the forest nor the trees in their own backyard, I offer perhaps the best testament on BB: actual samples from BB. Of course, the names have been redacted and comments edited to protect the…err…..let’s just say to protect. And as disciplined a person I can be, I cannot resist offering comments on the ones that scream for such.
So without further adieu:
- “So want another St Bernard!” [No thanks; my 2 kids (3 if you include the wife] keep me busy enough]
- “Flapjacks and bacon for breakfast, church, rest all afternoon, college basketball game and then Sunday night family TV time. Its the best day of the week!” [can’t argue with that; hope Sunday night includes Andy Rooney; don’t know why but I enjoy the old codger]
- Someone offered an image of a “work clock” with just a 9 and 5 on it; what decade did this work clock come from? The 1950s?
- A CPA declared their taxes are done a full 2 weeks before the deadline; I guess the cobbler’s children do have shoes. He’s already figuring out how to spend his refund; that’s American!!!
- “I love pepperoni pizza” [Me too!! Actually, deluxe is my favorite]
- “Football inventory tonight, school carnival tomorrow, baseball game tomorrow night, and football registration Saturday.” [This is from the same person who gave the Sunday update above; it’s starting to hit me: this person is definitely not in the witness-protection program]
- Our 1950s clock person from above provides us with a cat looking out a window with the caption that the cat wishes to defecate outside. I don’t own a cat but I agree with that cat, from an owner’s perspective.
- “I’m going through my work shirts and I have ring around the collar. I thought that was just a myth; I never thought it would happen to me” [REMAIN CALM; it can happen to any of us; you’ll recover. Now, as to those who had to endure your "news"…]
- “You know things are pretty bad when you ask a potential cleaning lady to clean your place and for her to “name her price” but yet after the “walk thru” she declines…:( “ [I know your pain; trust me, it’s worse when the cleaning lady is your wife]
- Somebody decided to inform the world that his kid threw up in the bathroom early in the morning. He wished that it happened in the afternoon. I’d wish for it not to happen at all, but that’s just me.
- Our 1950s clock person from above, who apparently had a rough weekend and asked if he’d do things differently, replied “ ‘Bob’, I’d do a lot of things differently if I could”. Wow! Those pronouncements are usually reserved for Presidents and deathbeds. I guess BB does get serious, even on unserious matters.
- Our 1950s clock person stoically recovered from his rough weekend and says “Awesome weekend in [redacted] with “Joe”, “Mary”, “James”, “Anthony”, “Carmine”, “Henry” and the band. “Mary” and I had a blast.” One gets the sense that he was clutching an Oscar and forgot to thank the Producer and Director.
Well, there is a sample that describes BB better than most could, including a team of Bellevue psychiatrists.
I forgot to mention, most people “like” everyone else’s comments. I guess it would chill the BB relationship if they “disliked”. But how refreshingly honest it would be!
