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I.M. Windee was tasked with bringing home provisions for the family and he delivered…for the junk-food industry

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 Are cheese doodles a vegetable just like ketchup?

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Recently, I.M. Windee was tasked with filling the family cupboard. The following is a list of foods that is a good cross-section of what he brought back:

• cheese doodles
• Munch-N-Crunch
• cheese doodles (Jalapeno-flavored)
• Ring-Dings
• Twinkies
• Ring-Dings  (Jalapeno-flavored)
• Cracker Jax (in case the Munch-N-Crunch didn’t hack it)
• Jalapeno cheese (in case the Jalapeno-flavored cheese doodles and Ring-Dings didn’t hack it)
• Kaeopectate (barbecue-flavored)
• Slim Jims (inferno-flavored; must be at least 18 and legal release needs to be signed to purchase these)

Windee’s wife has since determined that he will no longer be in charge of such responsibility.

You can take the bachelor out of bachelorhood but not the bachelor out of the husband.

-I.M. Windee

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A German bishop further illustrates the insular mentality of the Catholic church hierarchy

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Last week it was reported that Pope Francis suspended a German bishop whose $42 million home renovation stirred outrage in Germany and highlighted the hidden wealth of the country’s Catholic institutions.

The Vatican said the suspension of Limburg Bishop Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst would be indefinite, pending an investigation into who bore responsibility for dramatic cost overruns at his official residence.

A $42 million renovation of the personal residence may be justified for Donald Trump who is trying to appease his latest trophy-wife but is not the hand-to-mouth life that Christ preached for his disciples. Perhaps a special collection, bootstrapped to one for costs on priest’s sexual abuse lawsuits,  to defray the expenditures?

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Such earned the bishop the nickname “the Bishop of Bling.” And the spotlight on wealth has been especially jarring in the context of the modest style of the new pope. Pope Francis has urged bishops to avoid “the psychology of princes” and prefers being driven in a Ford Focus; the German magazine Stern reported this week that of Germany’s 27 bishops, 15 ride in BMWs, four in Audis, and three in Mercedes.

This misuse of funds continues a long trend of the Catholic church’s misguided focus on money. As covered previously (“The Vatican, Inc.,” July 3, 2013), Cardinal Timothy Dolan, when head of the Milwaukee Archdiocese, advised the Vatican to place some $57 million of church funds in a trust that protected them from being tapped by sex-abuse victims through lawsuits.” At least he was not selling indulgences.

Meanwhile, the church takes a ferocious public position against same-sex relations between consenting adults yet is missing in action when children are abused by its priests as addressing such could threaten its perpetual fundraising campaign.

This mis-prioritization further reinforces the perception and reality that the church has an agenda that is more earthly and materialistic than the values of Christianity it peddles. Until it cleans up its act, it will continue to lose parishioners which will force it to downsize its renovations.

-I.M. Windee

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Learning from battles lost and not repeating them

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Yesterday  the government shutdown ended as Senator Cruz and his cabal capitulated on a deal between Democrats and Republicans that re-opened a small portion of government, increased the borrowing limit for the U.S. government and most notably, gave virtually nothing to Republicans to assuage the damage they endured by forcing this ill-conceived charge into the fortified Obama lines. If this had been a military campaign, it would’ve ranked up there with the disastrous Civil War’s Pickett’s Charge that had 12,000 Confederate troops charge into the Union line only to be slaughtered. Thank God Senator Cruz confines his efforts to politics and not as a commanding officer in the military.

Yet the deal merely creates another opportunity for similar confrontation next February and it is not certain if Senator Pickett has learned enough of a lesson to not try such a stunt again.

 Robert E. Lee realized the futility and foolishness of Pickett’s Charge that he ordered immediately after it failed; will Senator Cruz realize his government shutdown was a mistake?

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But as the Republican leadership has re-taken control of its caucus at least  for now, some planning to prevent another hijacking of the party would not only benefit the party and the country but also the leadership’s chances of remaining the leadership.

First, Senators Cruz and his ilk should be given a remedial civics lesson to better understand that a party that only controls one house of congress and not the White House cannot drive the agenda. The ultimate answer which lies 3 1/2 years off, to overturn Obamacare, is for Republicans to win the White House and senate while retaining the House. Thanks to Senator Cruz, keeping the House has now become even more challenging given this fiasco. Ironically, Senator Cruz might help to ultimately preserve Obamacare.

Second, all Republicans would do well to understand that President Obama is not one to sympathize with Republicans or their positions, let alone compromise with them (see: “U.S. Obama”, September 25, 2013). He saves such courtesy for rogue dictators (Bashar Asaad, Kim Jong Un) or Vladimir Putin. And just because President Obama says he’s willing to negotiate, that doesn’t mean he’ll compromise. It is a distinction with a difference that even Bill Clinton, the infamous dissector of the word “the,” could appreciate.

Finally, given above, Republicans should realize that they should not make the perfect the enemy of the good. Specifically, they should try to chip away at Obamacare and not try to firebomb the entire law which they can’t do anyway. An excellent start would be to repeal Obamacare’s medical device tax that has broad bi-partisan support and has been especially destructive to the medical device industry. It is also still not too late to suggest that the individual mandate be modified or moved from January 1, 2014. Incremental progress is better than no progress at all.

The government shutdown hurt the Republicans but more importantly it hurt the country as Republicans are the adult voice on matters of fiscal restraint and Obamacare. Mr. Cruz and his fellow warriors should keep that in mind the next time he wants his party to charge into  a political machine-gun nest.

-I.M. Windee

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When it comes to dealing with congressional Republicans, President Obama takes a page from U.S. Grant’s playbook: demand unconditional surrender

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During the American Civil War, Union General U.S. Grant was asked what his terms were for the Confederate-held Fort Donelson that he had under siege. He reportedly said “unconditional surrender.” Henceforth, he earned a reputation as an uncompromising all-out warrior as well as the nickname “Unconditional Surrender Grant.”

President Obama must have studied General Grant (including his presidential foibles).

From the first day he entered office, Mr. Obama has not yielded an inch to Republicans. From his landmark legislation of Obamacare to economic policy, the congressional Republicans were adversaries to be defeated at all cost, and completely. They were not to be worked with.

This has continued with the recent threat of a government shutdown by congressional Republican Pickett’s Chargers. Instead of trying to reconcile with them, the president chose his standard full-artillery approach: “They’re not focused on you. They’re focused on politics,” Mr. Obama said. “They’re focused on trying to mess with me.”

If only Mr. Obama would take such a tough stance and point out the same about Vladimir Putin, Bashar Asaad and the rest of the world’s bad actors.

If President Obama were President during the Civil War, would he have shown tolerance for the Confederates but beaten up his fellow Unionists?

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And the Iranian President’s snubbing of President Obama at the United Nations this week may make President Obama especially acerbic towards congressional Republicans. After all, he must take his frustrations out on someone and it certainly won’t be this country’s foreign enemies.

The most unfortunate aspect is that while he is happily marionetted by Russian President Putin and Syrian President Asaad, he would never think of listening to John Boehner or any other Republican who would have some good advice (certainly in economics) which would help both this country and Mr. Obama.

Still, if given the choice between foreign or domestic matters for this president, the country will benefit immensely if Mr. Obama uses the remainder of his presidency only to battle with what he sees as this country’s true enemy: Republicans.

-I.M. Windee

Tonight, President Obama finally got around to explaining to this country’s citizens why it is in the United States’ interests to oppose Syria’s use of chemical weapons. It’s good to know that world opinion is ostensibly no longer his sole concern, although now he wants Syria’s enablers, Russia, and the feckless United Nations to address the problem.

With all of his indecisive action and dithering on this matter, it’s difficult not to recall Hilary Clinton’s warning about a President Obama dealing with a foreign crisis.

Back in 2008 when Mrs. Clinton was cage-fighting with Mr. Obama in the Democratic primaries, she ran a tv ad that said “It’s 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep,” as images of sleeping baby after sleeping baby pass by. “But there’s a phone in the White House, and it’s ringing……Who do you want answering the phone?” This was a clear reference to Mr. Obama’s lack of foreign policy experience, if not his intestinal fortitude for decisive action.

Hillary Clinton was right: Barack Obama is weak at the knees as president

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As tough as it is to stomach, Mrs. Clinton appears to have been right.

Mr. Obama did not receive the  difficult 3 a.m. call but the underhanded softball of a 3 p.m. call. Opposing the use of chemical weapons by any country is a no-brainer for a U.S. President, as well as the civilized world, given over 100 years of international denunciation of such. And yet this president, so convinced that military action is wrong in seemingly all situations, has delayed and even telegraphed the action he would take resulting in Syria re-deploying its military assets well in advance of a half-hearted attack. Thank God this man was not in the White House in 1861 or 1941.

Someone should have told him when he was running for president that the job description of the office he was running for included foreign as well as domestic duties. It’s not just all about bashing Republicans and accusing them of taking food out of government worker’s and children’s mouths.

And not missed is the irony that when he ran for office, he wanted to restore the United States’ credibility on the world stage. He has done the opposite as enemies and allies alike see weakness.

This president needs to realize that Machiavelli was correct: it is far better for this country to be feared than loved by this world’s unsavory characters.

-I.M. Windee

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Looking back 50 years is nostalgic but not helpful for today’s civil rights movement

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Last week, this country celebrated the 50th anniversary of the 1963 March on Washington. Unfortunately, President Obama cynically used such to advance his agenda.

It was disappointing that the topic of education was virtually nonexistent except for nine-year-old Chicago public school student Asean Johnson who pushed the standard Liberal line of shoveling more money to the education system, Randi Weingarten no doubt his ghost writer.

Martin Luther King would be disappointed in the misguided and self-serving civil rights leadership today

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As embraced in thoughtful precincts, the great civil rights issue of our day is education and specifically, access to quality education for kids in grades K thru 12. The key to economic advancement is having a good-paying job which has been shown to result from, more often than not, having a good education. Government intervention and regulation and unions, all Liberal panaceas, merely split and re-distribute the pie. A good education allows for the pie to grow larger. All too often inner city children, mostly minorities, get an inferior education and are less likely to go to college. This makes them less desirable to employers.

And why didn’t Mr. Obama and the rest of the speakers focus on education reform that clearly would lift up the downtrodden that they claimed to represent? Because much of the blame for failing public schools falls on an “entrenched interest” that the president would never acknowledge: recalcitrant teachers’ unions that resist reform at every turn. As the teachers’ unions are natively part of the Democratic Party, Reverend Sharpton and John Lewis and the rest their cabal would never think of discussing education reform as a civil rights issue as they’d have to take on the teachers unions. Some “entrenched interests” are justified while others not, in the Liberal mind.

So instead, the focus was on the phantom attack on voting rights, which is not an attack and at its worst would likely only prevent a small amount of people from rightfully exercising their right to vote. No system is perfect, as Liberals will say defending every government program.

For the parents of the hundreds of thousands of kids who are denied their basic civil right of a quality education, this week’s commemoration which focused on demagoguery over voting rights must have been extremely depressing.

-I.M. Windee

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The early retirement of CEO Steve Ballmer is an acknowledgement that Microsoft is no longer on the cutting edge

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Steve Ballmer, who succeeded Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates as chief executive of the company, will retire within the next 12 months, the software giant said today. It would be nice to think that Mr. Ballmer is leaving a company on top of its game and just wants to “spend more time with the family” but for those of us who have suffered Microsoft products for the last 10 years, the obvious reason is he’s leaving an old ship with plenty of leaks.

Microsoft was founded by Bill Gates and Paul Allen in 1975. It has grown to become the world’s largest software maker in terms of revenues. But as Microsoft and its consumers have learned, revenues do not mean a top-of-the-line product. Windows Vista and Windows 8 operating systems have been troubled software by Microsoft’s own admission. This user’s experience indicates that Windows 8 is merely a feeble attempt to piggyback on touchpad technology, which is not what a desktop (to the extent they exist) or laptop user is necessarily looking for.

Microsoft is a long way from the mid-1970s when it was leading in computer technology

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And then there is the endless hawking of their software. Many laptops and desktops are sold with the latest version of MS-Office but good luck trying to do anything with them as you almost immediately must pony up a license fee to even save a document. And these latest trial versions override by default any prior versions of MS-Office that may be on the computer. To say these versions are mere re-hashes of prior software is an understatement. Even if Mssr. Ballmer does not want to admit it, a spreadsheet and word-processing document will virtually have the same attributes until the end of computing time.

In short, Microsoft has become an ossified dinosaur in the tech industry. If Microsoft were a government agency or even an auto company, calcification of its business model would not matter. But perhaps more than any other line of business, in the tech industry if your business model is not tomorrow, it is last decade and it’s a matter of time before extinction becomes a reality.

Microsoft is not going anywhere overnight, but then again, neither did AT&T nor the Baby Bells in the early 1980s when Ma Bell was broken up by the government. In time, though, they lost their monopolies and market share to competitors who provided better products, just like Microsoft has been facing. Through acquisitions of other companies like Skype Technologies, Microsoft will no doubt be around for a while but as ITT and AT&T can attest, trying to manage an unwieldy behemoth like Microsoft does not always maximize shareholder value. Ultimately, a breakup of Microsoft into rational business units will be the best thing for shareholders, consumers and technology in general. Such will allow the unprofitable and underperforming business units to face their reckoning and not be subsidized by profitable products as often happens with diversified companies with large revenue-stream portfolios.

Mssrs. Gates, Ballmer and Allen rode to the top of the tech world practicing capitalizing on cutting edge technology and survival of the fittest. Now Mr. Ballmer is experiencing that phenomena again, but on the opposite end of the spectrum and not in the way he is used to. He realized it was time to dismount the technology dinosaur.

-I.M. Windee

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When the President of the United States invites you to the White House to honor you, you accept

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This week, the 1972 Miami Dolphins will visit the White House to be honored for their perfect season. But according to a report in the Sun-Sentinel, at least three ex-Dolphins won’t be visiting the White House because of their dislike for President Obama, and two more “are on the fence about going for the same reason.”

“We’ve got some real moral compass issues in Washington,” former center Jim Langer told the paper. “I don’t want to be in a room with those people and pretend I’m having a good time. I can’t do that. If that [angers] people, so be it.”

Bob Kuechenberg, the starting left guard on the ’72 team, echoed Langer’s opinion, saying, “I want to be careful, because mom said if you have nothing good to say about someone, then don’t say anything. I don’t have anything good to say about someone.

“I don’t belong there, I’ll tell you that,” Kuechenberg continued. “Without being critical, I can just tell you I don’t belong. It would be hypocritical of me to be there. I don’t want to do that. I just don’t believe in this administration at all. So I don’t belong. Anyone on the left or the right has to respect one man’s opinion.”

The 1972 Miami Dolphins were a perfect football team; they should stick to such sport and not politics

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Defensive tackle Manny Fernandez took a more simplified approach, telling the Sun-Sentinel, “I’ll just say my views are diametrically opposed to the president’s. Enough said. Let’s leave it at that. I hope everyone enjoys the trip who goes.”

Mssrs. Langer, Kuechenberg and Fernandez have every right to not attend any event they do not wish to and their agita over Mr. Obama’s policies are fully embraced, and superseded, by this page.

But the President wasn’t inviting them to do a public service announcement for his programs. Such by celebrities rarely work as the late, great Andy Griffith found out when he did a psa promoting ObamaCare. Mr. Obama merely wants to honor a feat that is rare and noteworthy.

Perhaps any or all of these conscientious objectors have been themselves, or had someone they know, hurt by one of the President’s policies. If so, then perhaps it is better they stay away and not get into an uncomfortable and volatile situation.

But it seems that these men are just generally put off by an administration they don’t agree with. Which makes their decision all the more unfortunate. Politics should not enter events like this that are clearly non-partisan.

And not missed is the irony that as these holdouts object to and are generally trying to differentiate themselves from Liberals, they are acting every bit like their screeching counterparts (think: Barbra Streisand) who have no problem injecting political calculus, if not venom, into everything.

-I.M. Windee

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Fatherhood is tough in this Mr. Mom era, even for a prince

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Last week, Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton experienced the birth of a son named George.

Like the rest of us commoners, young George was born in a hospital and William, like most fathers, drove his family home.

Being a battle-hardened veteran of the birth of 2 children, it seems fitting to share a little advice with a compatriot who has been described as one of us and just entered the twilight zone known as fatherhood:

• Regarding those 3 a.m. feedings, have Kate do it. My understanding is that she is a stay-at-home mom. Thus, don’t lose the early battle of who feeds Junior at un-godly hours. You’re the breadwinner, you need your sleep to go out and support the family the next day. And tell her you need your beauty sleep as much as she does, maybe more.
• Diapers. Ok, this is a multi-part subject. First, you’re gonna need lots of them….lots. My advice is buy in bulk at Costco (or the equivalent thereof in England). You could easily blow through a King’s Fortune (pardon the pun) if you don’t buy wisely.

• Like I said, you’ll still be leaving the house (palace) to support the family. DON’T feed Junior before you leave the homestead if you’re in your work clothes as you will be wearing half of the bottle you fed him. In fact, stay at least 20 feet from him as his projectile capability is on par with an inter-continental ballistic missile.
• Remember those quiet, perhaps romantic, and certainly civile dinners with Kate? That’s what they are now, a memory. Now you must practice the art of feigning enjoyment at watching your sire effuse from every orifice at the dinner table while you down your Hamburger Helper, just like the rest of us fellow fathers do.
• Let’s get back to diapers. There’s a fine art to changing them that only your nannies would know but you must master. First, a gas-mask doesn’t hurt. You could try the 10-foot long prongs but they are cumbersome and could hurt Junior. Speed is of the essence, though. When you decide to break the seal and remove it, get it into that diaper compactor in nano-seconds. Never open the diaper compactor unless need be, treat it as the box that contains the Arc of the Covenant with decidedly severe consequences if opened. Besides, Junior will be performing enough exploration of it when he gets mobile.
• Regarding the diaper compactor, consider videotaping when you empty it. This could fill the void that the absence of Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs created. You could call it Royal Palace Unpleasant Tasks.
• Sunday afternoon rides with the family? Bring plenty of diapers and make sure that the windows in your hundred-thousand dollar car work, diapers leak.
• Time out with the boys? Go for it! And to be able to hold that beer stein without spilling it, the papoose is your best bet with young George riding in it.

Finally, as the papers have said you act like a regular guy (a fad amongst the elite and privileged from political and religious leaders to the rich), would you mind sending me a couple of your nannies that you won’t be using as having experienced all of the above, I admit I need all the help I can get even with the kids older now?

-I.M. Windee

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All the soaring rhetoric in the world will not defy economic physics

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President Barack Obama gave a speech on the economy Wednesday at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois. Given the tone and lack of substance of the speech, it appears the President will be dug in on his policies and uncompromising with the Republicans until it is too late and he realizes that his historical legacy, and not re-election, is what’s at stake.

He resorted to his favorite rhetorical weapon of blaming his  predecessor, George W. Bush, for the recession Mr. Obama inherited: “Today, five years  after the start of that Great Recession, we fought our way back,” Obama said.

There were no new policy proposals, just the President urging congress to comply with his wishes.

Associated Press

As a community organizer, demagoguery was an effective tool to rally people. As President, it does not work to rally the economy ______________________________________________

He droned on about how “technology made some jobs obsolete. Global competition sent others  overseas. It became harder for unions to fight for the middle class.  Washington doled out bigger tax cuts to the rich and smaller minimum wage  increases for the working poor” and a laundry list of other perceived Liberal nightmares. For someone who aspired to be the transformational Ronald Reagan, this was the complete opposite of a typical optimistic speech by the Gipper: it was a bill of particulars on what was wrong with this country and how he would straighten it out.

Then he went on to say “Today,  five years after the start of that Great Recession, America has fought its way  back.”

What the President did not say is how the U.S. economy fought back primarily against his policies.

Everything from ObamaCare to environmental and financial services regulation has helped stunt growth across the U.S. economy. The XL Pipeline project alone would create 20,000 jobs but Mr. Obama chose to side with environmentalists over economic growth and stop it.

The consequence of Mr. Obama’s choice to create a utopia over economic growth has been business unwilling to hire. Thus, a relatively jobless recovery.

Yet this does not stop the former community organizer who had great success in using words to rally people to causes. What the President does not understand is that all the soaring rhetoric in the world will not get businesses to open their wallets and make capital investments and hire people, only more friendly tax laws and government regulations will.

To play on a phrase from James Carville, “it’s the policy, stupid.”

-I.M. Windee